Haven’t written in four days, oddly enough it feels like forever. It’s 9:04 AM here, I don’t know what I’ve been waiting for. In these past four days I’ve gotten everything I’ve needed; a trial for each of my bodies. Physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional. Even though I know the pain will end soon I can’t seem to understand why I feel so blue. Some moments where I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, I end up doing both. My tears are not of suffering and my smile is not of joy, my strained voice presents no attitude, my spirit faces no void. It’s necessary to feel these feelings, not to internalize them, but to feel the feelings. Does that make sense? I can’t venture through life pretending every day is my best, but I surely will not stand to behave as if every day is the worst. This is why I treat every tomorrow as if it’s my first, no baggage of the days before, I’ll burn all of that in the midnight fire.